Delighte Baby whit Perants in Playground
Recently I took my two children to a popular new park in the area. It's a beautiful new playground, all wood, divided into different areas of play for different age groups. It's wonderful for me as well, as my children can play at age appropriate areas and I can see/interact with both of them at the same time. This is what makes it our entire family's favorite playground, a well that for many other families in the area.
When we arrived at the park this particular day, there was only one other family there. It was extremely hot, and I told my kids we'd only be able to stay for a small amount of time. I wanted them to wear themselves out a bit, but not pass out. I assumed my normal location on a wooden bench and settled down, knowing that I would be able to see and hear whatever my children were doing. It didn't take long before I noticed a problem
Spending quality time with children requires your full and undivided attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything that we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million other things. Our children talk to us and we say uh huh without really hearing them. We take them to their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish their laughter and their unique personalities. It wont be long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
There's this really neat seat swing that my daughter (4) loves to swing in.
She had taken up a position standing by the swing, waiting for it's
occupants to finish. After 10 minutes, I saw her run past me saying "no,
leave me alone, I don't want to play" to a smaller child who was chasing
her. This smaller child belonged to the occupant of the swing. That
occupant, was her Mother.
How often do you think of family life as an adventure or delightful experience? If you and your children are having a good day, then you might buy into this idea. However, many of you are probably laughing hysterically now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels like a jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys.
You moms are all going to laugh, because although I'm the eldest of six children and very capable of diaper changing and feeding, I had no idea what to actually 'do' with him all day. I kept thinking how do women get anything done when they have children around' That first day I was wiped out tired when his parents picked him up because I just assumed that a toddler needed constant entertaining.
We played with his toys which took up about 10 minutes, went outside to look at plants and tell him the names of flowers, and my golden retriever joined in but that took maybe another 15 minutes. I had only 6 ' hours to go! The diaper changing took up a bit of time (I was rusty), and meal time was interesting trying to understand what he did and didn't like ' I was fooled. Then I decided, well I need a moment to rest, I'll play some music! That was the key to a very enjoyable summer of learning to interact with my nephew and develop our own special relationship.
Now this Mother is glaring at my daughter, who is running away from her daughter, because the Mother is still in the swing my daughter is waiting for. Every time my daughter walked near the swing to continue to wait for her turn, this other little girl followed her. Her Mother was alternating her glare between me and my daughter, so I suggested that we play somewhere else until they were done. My daughter said firmly "No". The Mother turned and fixed her death stare back on me, as if to say "what kind of parent are you?!". I replied to my daughter "That's fine, but you need to be nice to the other little girl". Now she also glared at me. I just couldn't win.
She stood there, waiting her turn for the swing another 5 minutes before the Mother got all huffy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and dragged her and the baby off to another side of the park. Once again she was glaring at me, keeping her eyes fixated us as she walked away. Cursing at me I'm sure. I apologized to her, because obviously, she thought we'd done something wrong. She didn't respond, kept that evil stare on us, and continued walking.
This is what all you moms do daily, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! All I can say is, with much ado, you are all phenomenal women, all of you! God has gifted you with such a tremendous gift of motherhood and with that gift comes a tremendous responsibility.
So, I told my son (and daughter) that what the other Mother had done was wrong. Instead of asking my daughter if she'd like a turn, or even addressing her with a simple "I'm not done yet sweetie, it's going to be awhile" she just kept swinging. Ignoring her, as if she didn't exist. She put her needs in front of not only her other childs, but she broke the cardinal rule of Motherhood; she turned her back on another child. You just don't do that.
I personally don't feel she should have been on the swing at all. That as soon as we arrived and my daughter walked over, she should have offered to get up. However, just because that's what I would have done, doesn't mean that's how everyone should feel or act. That said, I won't budge in my belief that she was acting childishly, not only because she didn't address my daughter in some kind of friendly manner (after 20 minutes of waiting), but by the glaring and pouting she kept carrying on with. Shame on her.
A couple of days later, I wished I had done things differently. I wished I had approached the Mom and asked if we could have a turn on the swing. I wish I hadn't apologized for something that I don't feel was our fault. But most of all, I wish I'd never met her and her bitterness.
The moral of this story is, don't expect a parent to do the right thing, they can be just as selfish as children. Maybe even more so.
When we arrived at the park this particular day, there was only one other family there. It was extremely hot, and I told my kids we'd only be able to stay for a small amount of time. I wanted them to wear themselves out a bit, but not pass out. I assumed my normal location on a wooden bench and settled down, knowing that I would be able to see and hear whatever my children were doing. It didn't take long before I noticed a problemSpending quality time with children requires your full and undivided attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything that we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million other things. Our children talk to us and we say uh huh without really hearing them. We take them to their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish their laughter and their unique personalities. It wont be long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
There's this really neat seat swing that my daughter (4) loves to swing in.
She had taken up a position standing by the swing, waiting for it's
occupants to finish. After 10 minutes, I saw her run past me saying "no,
leave me alone, I don't want to play" to a smaller child who was chasing
her. This smaller child belonged to the occupant of the swing. That
occupant, was her Mother.
How often do you think of family life as an adventure or delightful experience? If you and your children are having a good day, then you might buy into this idea. However, many of you are probably laughing hysterically now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels like a jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys.
You moms are all going to laugh, because although I'm the eldest of six children and very capable of diaper changing and feeding, I had no idea what to actually 'do' with him all day. I kept thinking how do women get anything done when they have children around' That first day I was wiped out tired when his parents picked him up because I just assumed that a toddler needed constant entertaining.
We played with his toys which took up about 10 minutes, went outside to look at plants and tell him the names of flowers, and my golden retriever joined in but that took maybe another 15 minutes. I had only 6 ' hours to go! The diaper changing took up a bit of time (I was rusty), and meal time was interesting trying to understand what he did and didn't like ' I was fooled. Then I decided, well I need a moment to rest, I'll play some music! That was the key to a very enjoyable summer of learning to interact with my nephew and develop our own special relationship.
Now this Mother is glaring at my daughter, who is running away from her daughter, because the Mother is still in the swing my daughter is waiting for. Every time my daughter walked near the swing to continue to wait for her turn, this other little girl followed her. Her Mother was alternating her glare between me and my daughter, so I suggested that we play somewhere else until they were done. My daughter said firmly "No". The Mother turned and fixed her death stare back on me, as if to say "what kind of parent are you?!". I replied to my daughter "That's fine, but you need to be nice to the other little girl". Now she also glared at me. I just couldn't win.
She stood there, waiting her turn for the swing another 5 minutes before the Mother got all huffy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and dragged her and the baby off to another side of the park. Once again she was glaring at me, keeping her eyes fixated us as she walked away. Cursing at me I'm sure. I apologized to her, because obviously, she thought we'd done something wrong. She didn't respond, kept that evil stare on us, and continued walking.
This is what all you moms do daily, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! All I can say is, with much ado, you are all phenomenal women, all of you! God has gifted you with such a tremendous gift of motherhood and with that gift comes a tremendous responsibility.
So, I told my son (and daughter) that what the other Mother had done was wrong. Instead of asking my daughter if she'd like a turn, or even addressing her with a simple "I'm not done yet sweetie, it's going to be awhile" she just kept swinging. Ignoring her, as if she didn't exist. She put her needs in front of not only her other childs, but she broke the cardinal rule of Motherhood; she turned her back on another child. You just don't do that.
I personally don't feel she should have been on the swing at all. That as soon as we arrived and my daughter walked over, she should have offered to get up. However, just because that's what I would have done, doesn't mean that's how everyone should feel or act. That said, I won't budge in my belief that she was acting childishly, not only because she didn't address my daughter in some kind of friendly manner (after 20 minutes of waiting), but by the glaring and pouting she kept carrying on with. Shame on her.
A couple of days later, I wished I had done things differently. I wished I had approached the Mom and asked if we could have a turn on the swing. I wish I hadn't apologized for something that I don't feel was our fault. But most of all, I wish I'd never met her and her bitterness.
The moral of this story is, don't expect a parent to do the right thing, they can be just as selfish as children. Maybe even more so.
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